"My Connections to Play"

“But mostly we need to honor the innate capacity for learning that moves the limbs and fills the souls of every healthy young child (Almon 2002).”

I lived on a farm where my siblings and I spent 95% of our time.  We had very little material toys to play with, so we invented many of our own games, or we would play games such as hide and seek, football, soccer, and cops and robbers. My parents were very busy raising 15 children, they seldom played, but when they could... I remember my mom and dad joining us for our version of softball with a bat and a big blown up ball, the trees were our bases.  My mom wacked that ball and we all laughed because as she ran she was laughing and cheering for herself!  My dad was on the opposite team cheering instead of chasing the ball! Another memory I cherish about my mom and dad is at night we didn’t have much T.V. so sometimes they would push all the furniture to the walls and put on Waltz music and start dancing.  After a few minutes my dad and mom would choose one of the girls and one of the boys and they would dance with us, teaching us how to waltz. I didn’t find a picture that could display the importance of this memory, nothing can compare to what I remember in our little house on the farm.

“You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again.” ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762

This dog represents me!  I loved running around. While I was from a big family I did spend time by myself. I remember watching the Olympics when I was around 11 years old and decided I was going to be a gymnast I cut two poplar trees down and began creating my own uneven bars! My dad watched me for several days, after I started digging the holes for the poles he as me what I was making (he thought it was a swing). When I told him, he didn’t stop me but gave me several pointers to consider, eventually I realized this was not going to work. My dad could have stopped me and told me that, but he didn’t he let me figure it out for myself. 

Play gives children a chance to practice what they are learning....They have to play with
what they know to be true in order to find out more, and then they can use what they
learn in new forms of play. --Fred Rogers of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood

I practiced hitting a volleyball against the garage for hours. Counting how many times I could hit it in a row before missing.  My love for football started because I spent all fall playing in our yard with my brothers and neighbors.  I have used these skills throughout my whole life.




 

My dog growing up was part black Labrador; she was the best listener and friend!

 

I think play is very different today in many ways, my childhood play was self - driven and I had the freedom to explore the environment around me.  Children today have less opportunity for this type of experience, because less people live on farms.  More children spend their time in the care of other adults.  Often children are directed in their play or given a specific amount of time to play before moving into another activity.  Play for many children is adult facilitated and they learn a skill but may not get to use their imagination. However, if the caregiver offers freedom for self - driven play, children will work together to play games, create their own activities and use their imagination to go anywhere and become anything, this is what I spent most of my childhood doing.

 

Relationship Reflections

My most important relationship is the partnership I have with my husband Mark.  We have been together since 1984.  He became my best friend and confidant when I was 18 years old, and he was 22.  We have shared struggles, heartache, family stresses (extended) and worked through personal struggles together.  Early in our marriage ( 5 years into it) we had a time when I believe our love turned from a physical and surface type love to a deeper love that looked beyond our weaknesses to who we are, and says,  “ I‘m glad you love me anyway!” I think this was pivotal because, at one point or another in a relationship we look at the other and have to ask ourselves, can this relationship last forever, and I believe it then becomes a personal decision to work at being successful, no relationship will last if it is not worked on by both people.  I also believe our faith has had a huge impact on our relationship, we trust in our Creator and put Him at the head of our family, praying for each other, our children, grandchildren, and their spouses is important to both of us. Another one of the many strength in our relationship is that Mark and I share common interests such as golfing, snowshoeing, and biking I guess almost anything we can do that lets us spend time together.  We also are respectful of each other’s need for friends, because while we have a great relationship, we cannot offer everything the other person needs, that is what friendships are for, they offer additional camaraderie that fulfills other parts of our personal needs, and gives us a chance to give to others in a different way.  Part of a healthy relationship is to know your own strengths and weakness, and knowing its ok to need help.  I rely on Mark and he relies on me, not in the needy sense but the “I will be there for you as best I can.” That same understanding goes into other friendships as well.

My daughters are another huge part of our (my) life.  I have had the honor of watching both of them turn into wonderful adult women and mothers.  We talk about all kinds of different topics, laugh and tease and learn from each other.  My girls have taught me so many things and given me insight into topics I never would have thought.  I believe our relationship is strong because, I was a mom first, and during their early years I wasn’t their friend, I was always there for them, and they knew I would listen to them and we could talk things out, but the final decisions about things came from the mom in me first, not to please and be “friends” with them.  Those years were tough, but as time passed from teenage years to adulthood, it is nice to hear them say they were glad I stuck to my decisions. I still don’t always agree with the decisions they make, often in regard to their children, but I have learned this is their time to be a parent and if they ask for my advice I give it, but otherwise they get to learn and use their parental style to raise their children and as always, I will be here for them when and if they need me. 

My friendships with my girlfriends is probably the hardest relationship to continue, life gets so busy, I often find no time to hang out with them, especially now working full time and taking classes has really dampened my personal time and I find weeks have gone by and I have not spoken to anyone but my co-workers, husband and children, and that is ok but sometimes I need the adult camaraderie of woman around my own age, who are experiencing the same internal things I am.  It is nice to share personally things that they can give insight to and work through situations other people do not understand.  It is also fun to get together and just have fun, laughing, and sharing commonalities.

In addition to these relationships are my relationships with my family and my in – laws. These relationships are important for me because my siblings have known me my whole life, and while we don’t talk every day, we are still close, we can get together and if feels like we never left.  My parents both passed away 10 and 12 years ago, but we decided to keep the farm as a place to return and be together.  I have a brother who stays there and maintains the place.  I have been told many families do not get along and struggle with their relationships, and from experience I notice that is true, but my family can get together and we all get along and have fun. As a whole group we have had to make some big decisions about the family farm, and what I notice about my siblings is that we are able to see each other’s perspective and often think alike, materialism was never apart of who we were growing up and for the most part we understand it cannot replace relationships, so maybe that is why we are able to come to conclusions and decisions so easily. 

                As my in – laws go, I have a good relationship with them too.  We spend many holidays together and birthdays.  Marks sister is very good at planning family events and makes sure everyone is invited, you can count on her to be sensitive to the needs of others, she is the cornerstone of the family, and often the nephews and nieces go and spend time with her.

I think the challenges to relationships is creating time to spend with the people, and realizing each person has something to contribute, even if that contribution makes you uncomfortable, learning how to except what you do not always want to hear, and using it to mold your character so you can grow and change and learn more about ourselves and others will help with each new relationship or partnership we find ourselves. 

As I reflect on the different partnerships I realize just being in a big family has helped me learn how to except many different personalities and adjust to each ones needs without compromising my own.  Raising my own children and being an integral part of their life has opened my eyes to watching how young people view parenting, and the struggles they feel and see within their daily life, they are trying to balance work, family, and relationships/partnerships as well.  Seeing them stress out over expectations society has put on parents to be perfect and as my one daughter said, “Looking down on me when I make a mistake, like now I’m not a good enough parent.”  Reminded me how important judgment on others can be seen through actions more than my words. We really do not know the minds of others and we should not assume the worst, but seek the truth. I believe this is what will make us successful when building relationships with the families we serve.

For All Children

"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.
- Henry Adams

I thought this quote was pertinant to our class because it reminds us that everything we do with children leaves a mark whether it is positive or negative.  Children learn from their peers, teachers, community and family.  What will our impact be? What will mine be? 
 For All Children
 I want to continue to teach children how to respect themselves and others.
 I want them to be aware of others feelings and show empathy and love, yet  be confident in themselves to know right from wrong and stand on those truths. 
 I want all children around the world to feel safe, loved, cared for and enjoy their life. 
I want to change the life of children and make an impact on early development
Than I may affect eternity

Testing for intellegence

When  considering the whole child, I believe we should start with their social emotional development.  It is through these two domains children need to be successful first.  They are the corner stone to learning.  When a child feels safe, their ability to learn increases,   we need to consider what is important for a child, what is the family situation, how will it impact the assessment tool we are using? Is our tool sensitive to other ethnic groups and will it assess accordingly.  Another question is why assess? What is the purpose?  We typically assess to find out where a child is academically so we can group children accordingly, we also look for the lows which might indicate learning disabilities, and sometimes we find gifted students.  Ultimately we are trying to find out what children know. To do this we need to consider  how they learn, because that is where the challenge truly exists.

Internationally, I struggled to find any assessment tools being used in Central America.  I will continue to search and if I find any I will add it to my blog. 

The Consequences Of War On Children

War

     When I was in Fourth grade a girl from Vietnam moved to our town. Gina didn’t speak English very well but we became friends quickly.  One day she invited me to spend the night at her house.  Her home life was very different than mine, she had a mat for a bed, and a huge room where her cousins (living with her) spent time doing martial arts.  Not long after we got home from school, Gina was expected to start supper, while her mom sat in room sewing.  At the dinner table I was put at the far end with a hamburger, french fries and a coke, while her family sat at the other end with bowls of rice and different types of vegetables.  They ate in their traditional positions and style.  I must have been gawking because her mom offered me a taste of what they were eating I remember liking most of it and thinking some of it tasted weird.  Gina and I spent the evening in her room.  She spoke of Vietnam and the war and violence she had seen. She told me of a bridge by a river where she washed clothes, she watched a man get blown up there, and the bridge disappeared.  She spoke of her moms’ village where they hid in an underground cave while the village was destroyed, when they came out of hiding she said they had to walk across the bodies to get to their home.  She cried as she spoke, and said she could never go back or they would hang her for treason for leaving her country to come to America. Gina’s dad was an American soldier who had married Gina’s mom. They had lied about San and Too (her cousins) her parents told the government they were her brothers so they could come to the US too. 

          The psychological effects from the war in Gaza have left children and adults with many scars.   Up to 80% of the children suffer from:

·         Increased violence

·         Sleeping problems, with feelings of fear and anxiety.

·         Changes in attachment to family and community.

·         Various emotional and cognitive problems such as inability to concentrate.

·         Decreasing hope in the future

Muslim Aid is working with families to help cope with the loss of families and help children with the things listed above.

Psychosocial programs seek to limit these effects on children, prevent further harmful events, and strengthen the coping mechanisms of children, their families, and their communities.

Programs to limit the effects on the children and strengthen their coping mechanisms for the children, their families and the community that will prevent further harm are in place. (Mousa, 2009)

References

Mousa, D. Y. (2009, may 2). The Psychological effects of War on Gaza. Retrieved May 28, 2011, from labournet.net: http://www.labournet.net/world/0902/uhwc1.html

Water for the Honduran People

In February I spent ten days in Honduras on a mission trip to help rebuild and fix up apartments for students at a Bible Seminary.  Four months prior to our teams arrival another  team sent a drilling machine that they disassembled to fit into a crate.  When they arrived they put the drill together and began drilling for water at the seminary.  After two weeks the seminary had clean healthy water to drink.  When we arrived the first thing the Director showed us was the well, and with a big smile said drink, no worries.  This was a big celebration to get a well.

 Honduras

• Is the poorest country in Central America along with Guatemala
•  1.2 million people have no water. 
• Hurricane Mitch and rains that followed, cause landslides that wiped out villages and towns. It left 75% of the country without safe drinking water
• Woman and children spend up to six hours a day fetching water
• waterborne diseases like cholera is increasing

Water.org is an organization that helps communities by providing safe drinking water.  They found the greatest success is when they are contacted by the community.  The community becomes a part of the process. To keep a sustainable water supply months of education on how to maintain the well, personal hygiene and sanitation training for the whole village is required.  After the well is drilled the team will come back to the village to make sure good hygiene habits are still going on, because it is not enough to have clean water, diseases will continue if hand washing and proper sanitation are not done right.

reference

http://water.org/solutions/digging/

These are pictures from my trip in February.

This boy is going to fetch water, We didn't see a well here, so I am not sure if the water will be clean or not.

 this  toilet behind the church in the village we were at.

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This is a home in the village, the water is on the right side and she cooks on the left side.

This village was rebuilt with the help of CAM International.  The villagers helped build a church and the church helped every villager build a home.  The man down the road in the green jacket is Charlie Nelson he was instrumental in helping rebuild this village after Hurricane Mitch leveled it and the mud slides buried it.

I had the privilage to visit a school in Seguatepeque.  After recess the teacher inspects the childrens hands after they washed to make sure they are clean enough to enter the classroom.

My husband and I will continue our trips to Honduras to help in anyway we can. We have often thought of moving there and I would look for a teaching position and he would help the people construct whatever they needed.

Pesonal Child Birth Story

When my daughter called and told me she was in labor, I remember my heart skipping a beat.  My first experience with childbirth was not pleasant, giving birth to her at the age of 19 was scary and while the delivery went fine, she was healthy, but the events that followed were not anything I would want anyone to experience. I was a low income, unwed, teenager without insurance living in another state, I new very few people and my boyfriend (husband) had a new job. The expectation for the hospital was to get me out as fast as possible. Due to a fever I was poked and prodded for 24 hours, given a German measles shot just to be safe, and sent home.  I spent 3 days in bed with a fever and my husband had to take off work to take care of me and our baby. After 20 years the memories came back fresh in my mind. On the way to the hospital to see my daughter I said a silent pray to calm me and give her strength.   
When I arrived, she asked me to come into her room.  Little did I know that I would get to witness my first grand baby be born.  Kayla was not dilating the way they wanted her to so she ended up getting a spinal and putosin,  it wore off in time for her to push. She delivered a healthy girl  named Gracie who is now five years old.

Child Birth In India

These are some of the shocking findings of UNICEF's `State of the World's Children 2009' report released on Thursday.

·         According to the report, an Indian woman is 300 times more likely to die in childbirth or from pregnancy-related complications than women in America or England. For every mother who dies, 20 others suffer pregnancy-related illness. Around 10 million women annually experience such adverse outcomes.

·         Despite an increase in institutional deliveries, 60% of pregnant women still deliver their babies at home.

·         In India, more than two-thirds of all maternal deaths occur in a handful of states -- UP, Uttarakhand, Bihar, Jharkhand, Orissa, MP, Chhattisgarh, Rajasthan and Assam.

·         In UP, one in every 42 women faces risk of maternal death, compared to 1 in 500 women in Kerala.

·         As far as neonatal deaths (within the first 28 days of life ) are concerned, the worst-off states include Orissa (52 deaths per 1,000 live births), MP (51), UP (46), Rajasthan (45), and Chhattisgarh (43).

·         The report points out that babies whose mothers die during the first six weeks of their lives are more likely to die in the first two years of life. "For every 100 children born in the world, 20 are from India. For every 100 children who die globally, 22 die in India," UNICEF India chief Karin Hulshof said.

·         According to her, the health and survival of mothers and their newborns are intrinsically linked. "Many of the same interventions that save maternal lives also benefit their infants. Even though India has cut its under-five mortality rate from 117 per 1,000 live births to 72 between 1990 and 2007, neonatal deaths contribute to 50% of these under-five deaths," Karin added.

·         According to the report, three-quarters of all maternal deaths in India occur from complications either during delivery or in the immediate post-partum period.

·         A quarter of the world's unattended deliveries take place in India, which is one of 10 countries which together account for two-thirds of births not attended by skilled health workers.

·         The report also points to India's shameful statistics regarding breastfeeding. Experts say universalisation of early breastfeeding, within one hour of birth, would reduce neonatal mortality in India by 22% while universalisation of exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life would avert nearly 16% of young child deaths.

·         However, the report says only one in four children are breastfed within one hour of birth.

·         Annually, around 6 million children born in India have low birth weigh

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2009-01-16/india/28034518_1_maternal-deaths-neonatal-deaths-pregnancy-related-complications.